A Critique of Social Media Use: Protecting our Mental Hygiene
I am 37 weeks pregnant. I am on the precipice of one of the greatest life transformations that I might experience while on this Earth, my body already morphing and growing and twisting and aching to accommodate every millimeter of new human life. Little did I realize that along with this new human life comes a surprise package — a little welcome gift from Nature for the infant’s bearer — a new perspective on my own life.
Before you scroll away because 1) you are likely not 37 weeks pregnant, and 2) you may be asking how this could possibly be relevant to social media use, hear me out.
It seems that every little thing I do feels different now: will I still hold the same opinions when I have a child to care for? Will I still spend 3 hours a day on Instagram?
I have no delusions that things will stay the same once the baby comes. I also have no intent on shedding all of my former self to incorporate this new identity. Somewhere in-between these two opposing sides of the spectrum is where a mother’s new life springs forth: the opportunity to take a clear look at the realities of your life, and how it will impact your child and yourself.
It doesn’t always take the birth of a child to experience this sudden mindset shift — to take into account the way your life is heading, whether it is good for you long-term, and whether you want to do something to change it. While pregnancy may be my catalyst for re-evaluation, perhaps for you it is something else entirely.
My wake-up call came a few weeks ago, when I was couch-bound due to a health issue. (Sidenote: make sure you watch your iron levels while pregnant!) My screentime skyrocketed to nearly 4 hours a day. I found myself cycling between Reddit, Instagram, Facebook, and my pregnancy apps, one after the other. Then I’d throw in a check of the E-mail for good measure.
After a couple weeks of this behavior, I noticed a profound shift in my mood and mental health. I was quick to anger, and it felt like within two minutes of opening one of these apps, I was upset about something. I was a walking warrior, ready to pounce at a moment’s notice over any perceived injustice. I sound like a joy to be around, I know.
Taking breaks helped, but I couldn’t figure out why it was turning my mood sour so quickly. So I did some research on the roots of anger.
Why Social Media Makes Us Angry
Anger is a natural, healthy survival instinct. It generally arises when we feel under threat, or from our boundaries being threatened. It kicks us into a fight-or-flight response where we take on a defensive stance against the aggressor, even if the aggressor is a Twitter post that offends your core values and understandings of the world.
Is it worth getting upset over a Twitter post? No.
Is it instinctual? Yes, if it is triggering enough to your core beliefs and values and you feel under threat.
He likens this narrowing of our margins of tolerance to what happens when we’re driving. “You’re in a state of mild or high stress, so if someone pulls out in front of you, you’re more likely to scream out of the window. Whereas if you’re in a relatively calm state, and the same stimulus happens, you have a threshold to not let it get to you. People who are exposed to angry social media tend to have less margin to contain their anger, too.”
Putting yourself in this chronic survival mechanism over time makes you quicker to perceive threat, too. The more used to being angry you are after scrolling, the angrier you will likely be in future scrolling-sessions.
Given the below mental health statistics from 2020 from Mental Health First Aid, this behavior isn’t benign. It can be life-threatening.
While social media use isn’t directly linked to any one of these statistics, it can be gleaned that mental health should be of paramount importance to every human being.
In late June, 40% of U.S. adults reported struggling with mental health or substance use.
One in six U.S. youth aged 6–17 experience a mental health disorder each year.
Half of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14, and 75% by age 24.
Depression alone costs the nation about $210.5 billion annually.
The average delay between onset of mental illness symptoms and treatment is 11 years.
Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among people aged 10–34 in the U.S. and the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S.
Many people suffer from more than one mental disorder at a given time. In particular, depressive illnesses tend to co-occur with substance abuse and anxiety disorders.
More than 70% of youth in the juvenile justice system have a diagnosed mental illness.
Transgender adults are nearly 12 times more likely to attempt suicide than the general population.
The most common mental illnesses in the U.S. are anxiety disorders, which affect 40 million adults (18.1% of the population).
One way to be proactive is to monitor your mental hygiene. (Note: this is not a substitute for therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes.)
What is Mental Hygiene?
Perhaps you’ve noticed your overall happiness lessening these past few months, with increased social media use during the pandemic. Perhaps you’re getting headaches from too much screentime. Perhaps you experience a twinge of anxiety when you receive a phone call from a friend, but are happy to like every single one of their Instagram posts. (I swear, I’m not calling you out. This afflicts me, too.)
It can be easier to face this life when the Internet is our buffer. We can be safe here, unexposed, able to craft witty responses and quips, able to research things fully before posting our two cents online. But this perceived security has a dark side, too. We have less time for open discussion with friends, sharing our opinions around a meal or cup of coffee, instead seeing them blasted out for all to see on myriad social platforms, with no room for back-and-forth.
This back-and-forth is the meat of socializing: this is where we are supposed to learn and grow. Seeing someone else’s opinion online doesn’t work on you at a deep level as a human being, pushing you to challenge or assert your preconceived notions and ideals. We become threatened with a binary choice: become a parrot for someone else’s opinion, or risk voicing your own and be cast out without room for deeper understanding. There is simply not enough opportunity for discussion through Instagram comments or TikToks. Conversations about difficult topics are meant to be long-form and nuanced.
This is not healthy for our minds. It breeds isolation, anger, resentment, and a host of other emotions that are difficult to process when we are already feeling on islands of our own, unable to share without judgment.
A New Definition for Socializing
As we adopt new technologies, our old methods are often set to the side. This is natural — why would you fax a document when you can upload it securely to a shared portal in the cloud or E-mail it? Why use a horse for travel instead of a vehicle? Aside from novelty, many of these old technologies are obsolete, and the world has moved on.
The difference between those technologies and social media is that despite the changing modes of transport, we still travel. We still send documents. With social media, however, we outsource thousands upon thousands of years of hardwired behaviors to something way more abstract. Instead of hearing someone’s voice over the phone, or seeing their face in front of you, we now interact with avatars of each other.
Why is this important?
Because our voices transmit data. Our faces, even the slightest eyebrow lift, squint, or smile, transmits terabytes of data to the receiver. This is significantly lessened when we use text-only communication or emojis.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing at its core: we now are exposed to more of our friends’ inner lives than ever before, can connect easily, and share information more rapidly. And who doesn’t love a good giphy?
The problem is what happens when we start associating each other with our avatars, instead of the fully-fledged human adults we are, and prioritizing short-form “conversations” on social media instead of open, long-form, vulnerable discussions in-person.
Long-form discussion doesn’t have to be hours. It just has to be long enough for two people to feel heard.
Is Casual Scrolling Really Different than Doomscrolling?
Most people do this to a certain extent, as it feeds into our nature. Humans are predisposed to favoring negative news and discarding the positive bits due to an evolutionary tool called “negativity bias”. For example, yeah, it’s great if Susie got straight A’s in her art classes, but if her identity was just stolen by a hacker, that’s gonna need some attention first. We prioritize news based on perceived threat, so it makes sense that those headlines would dominate the airwaves.
But having said that, couldn’t all scrolling be considered doomscrolling? If you’re scrolling, you do not have intent aside from scanning and taking in information. Sure, some of those bits could be used to inspire you: selfies of your favorite authors posting Q&A videos about their latest works, kitchen cleaning hacks from TikTok, or your friend’s latest bouquet of flowers they purchased for their dining room table — but even too much of this can have the opposite effect, dependent on your mood.
We will respond to every post in relation to our current state. If we are feeling insecure, certain posts will amplify those insecurities. If we are feeling like bad parents, seeing all the parents who “have it together that day” might make us feel worse. If we see differing political or religious opinions, we may — whether is be consciously or subconsciously — form judgments about those around us.
A Possible Solution
If all of this is hardwired into our nature, you may ask, what can we really do to change it? Must we quit social media cold turkey?
My answer is: I don’t know, and I’m not sure anyone does. We are all so different and need different things. Some people do not seem to have issue with mindless scrolling and are immune. Good for them. For the rest of us, boundaries must be set.
For now, I think the best way to move forward is to ask yourself this question before opening a social media app:
Am I here with a purpose?
If the answer is yes — you want to check on your friend Malcolm, and send him a DM about a book you both just read, do it.
If the answer is no — you’re just feeling restless and bored, put that phone down. Read the daily news as part of an E-mail digest. If something upsets you there, write down ideas for what you can do about it. Facebook activism is not going to change the world — but your actions can. Read a Medium article. Pick up a book, pet your dog, or go sit on your front porch and listen to the birds. Please.
Do anything but get yourself riled up.
